Beyond the Birds & Bees

Our list of recommended articles, videos, and research for Modern Parents wishing to learn more about how to prepare for the Birds & Bees talk

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The Modern Parent’s guide to navigating the Birds & Bees conversation with kids.

By Dr. Ginger Bercaw

Has your mind ever gone blank in response to a spontaneous question from your young child about his or her body –or about your own?   Have you been unsure about how much information to give to your children at their tender ages?  Do you want very much to be the person your children come to with questions as they develop and as they become more aware of our sexualized culture and more vulnerable to their peer group’s influence?  If your answer to these questions is “yes,” you’ll definitely want to explore our community.

Our experts are trusted allies during this delicate time and are prepared to help answer the dreaded questions about the birds and bees.  With clearly outlined, age-appropriate ways to talk to your kids about their bodies and sexuality, you can know that your children will have the accurate information they deserve and that you want them to have.  You are sure to walk away with many practical steps to take and with strengthened confidence in this sensitive and often awkward territory.  Bring your questions and get ready for a thoughtful, enlightening and even humorous discussion!

In this section, you will find a wealth of information that will help you feel more confident in your understanding of this time in your child’s development and also in your approach with this delicate topic.

Our Favorite Articles and Research – Preparing for the Birds & Bees talk

Breastfeeding Sabotage, An American Epidemic, Part 1

Is your breastfeeding relationship being sabotaged? Are you sure? Are you unknowingly sabotaging someone else’s breastfeeding relationship? How do you know?
There are five very common ways that our breastfeeding relationships get sabotaged. Today I’ll give you a list with quick descriptions, and slowly, over the next few months, I’ll make a post about each one in more detail

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7 dangerous Apps that parents need to know

Information Security Officer lists some of the scariest technology for your kids Over the past several years, I have been actively speaking to parents, children, tweens, teens, and young adults regarding the dangers of the Internet and social media. I discovered...

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How to be an online savy parent

One of the things a parent can most dread is seeing their child view pornography, or fearing that they cannot prevent this from happening. If you either discovered your child watching or being exposed to porn or you’re dreading that this may happen and you are looking for ways to prevent this, read on.
Most of us vividly remember when we were first exposed to some sexual stimulus: a stash of magazines (if you are an older parent) in your friend’s garage or you may remember how you came across pornography on the internet (this means you must be a younger parent). Either way, sexual stimuli that are evoked through a visual image create powerful memories in the brain, which is why we can so vividly remember our first exposures.
The power of that memory can be compared to the power of a memory your body creates in response to food poisoning. You don’t have to train your body to remember that you ate food that was rotten and it will remind you to never eat that fish or return to that restaurant again. That same stream of learning happens when we are exposed to visual sexual stimuli because it elicits a comparable arousal response in the body. However, it is typically more complicated than that. When we are young we have confusing feelings surrounding the stimuli because no one sits us down and explains to us what the physical response is that created the memory in us. Now, as a parent having witnessed your child being exposed to such a stimulus, this situation could trigger the exact same memory of the response you felt when you were first exposed (e.g., disgusted, ashamed, avoidant, or “frozen”).
This page will help you deal with that bodily sensation. I want to assure you that even reading this will help you make sense of these highly confusing events that may have shaped your outlook on life, sexuality, or fear and inhibition surrounding sexual stimuli.

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8 tips for moms on talking to your sons about puberty, from dads

When moms talk to sons about going through puberty it is helpful to talk about the changes their body will go through before it happens, so they can be prepared and aren’t surprised when the changes start to occur. It is important to let your son know that puberty takes place over several years and there is no right or wrong time for puberty to start. When talking to sons about puberty, make sure to speak in a matter of fact way, without embarrassment about the body.

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Why your child should never be forced to hug a relative

This article talks about helping children learn to “listen to their gut” regarding physical touch. The author discusses helping children to develop respect for their bodies and physical space by allowing them to not hug or kiss relatives if they don’t want to or if they feel uncomfortable. The idea is that by allowing children to freely say “no” and “yes” to physical affection at an early age, helps to lay the foundation for setting boundaries in their later relationships.

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I don’t own my child’s body

This article is foundational for helping kids to have a sense of ownership of their bodies from a young age. The author makes excellent points about why it is important for kids of all ages to be able to say “no” to unwanted touch, even a hug from a grandparent.

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